A rush of blood to the head

Decided to Check out the hype with the blog readibility test.

According to the site, the title reads this

THE BLOG READABILITY (They spelt it as readibility) TEST
What level of education is required to understand your blog?

Type in your url and blam! the results are out. The mechanism hasnt been explained at all. So decided to do some fishing around and find out if anyone else had come across a suitable method for its working.

Most people think its got to do with the content that they have. I doubt it, its highly improbable that someone has developed an artificial intelligence system on this and remained so low key. It is a lot of work and deserves due recognition if he/ she has done that. Plus Stephen Hawking site has got an ELEMENTARY GRADE.

Then? Maybe its MS Word style using Flesch- Kincaid Readibility grade level based on the following equation :-



Then it totally makes sense that I get genius level :) Considering how my writing just goes on and on and on against all grammatical limitations.

Considering the speed at which the output is computed and we know for sure its not just random generated because the same content always got the same response, it has to be using some of the above factors since they can be easily computed.

It would also gel with the FOG index and the SMOG index that use pretty much the same factors but with different weight schemes .

Anyways, its a bit of fun :) and if u understand my blog, guess what ! You are a genius to make sense out of it all.

[For people planning to test their sites and put the pic up, my suggestion, copy paste the pic, dont use the link they have given, has one of those spam forward links]

[Thanks to Poornima for spotting this one out]
The Site

Ten Past Ten

Deja Vu! Months gone by and I finally get myself to look at the blank white screen waiting for me to jot down my thoughts. I could write my daily diary here but that’s not what blogging is for. Blogging is about expressing your feelings, your thought process to the outside world, a glimpse of the cogs that work in your brain. More than the outside world, I find blogging a chance for me to understand myself. I have been humbled to know there are people who actually spend time on my blog and look forward for me to wield my pen again and in a way that’s a driving force :) But I still cannot go against my principle never writing for the sake of writing. As my roommate Subbu's poster reads "I can, but I won't" - pretty much underlines my stance here.

One of the major factors contributing to my dismal record of updates on this page can be attributed to time. A very peculiar one it is, this thing called time and all the notions surrounding it. We have scenarios of countries fighting over land, and now oil and soon water and cycle back to high lands in a few years time, but can we have a scenario of a battle for time?!! Maybe physicists do break through, mathematicians learn to move the coordinates in the fourth dimension [refer TESSERACT], notions of the world will be changed. From kids nagging their parents for a "dinosaur" ride to history of art students doing their summer internship with Leonardo Da Vinci. America taking on the terror being unleashed by Genghis Khan and numerous more what-ifs and what-if-nots are possible left to the readers’ imagination.

Obviously, with human rat-like nature, this scenario is just a dream, if we do end up with time travel, am sure it’d have been abused ample of times before the common man even gets to hear about it. Maybe a top secret organization would reverse time every time a fugitive got away or bad political moves would whitewashed from human memory. I remember this forward I got years ago defining the value of time:-

(Just trying to recollect what it was, so cooked up some on my own)

"The importance of a milli second, ask a silver medallist"

"The importance of a second, ask a crash survivor"

"The importance of a minute, ask someone who just missed their bus"

"The importance of an hour, ask an examinee"

"The importance of a day, ask a dying man"

"The importance of a month, ask the mother of a premature baby"

"The importance of a year, ask someone who flunked school"

and then I’d finish it off with my line

"The importance of eternity, ask me for waiting for a friend like you”

Men have dreamt of fame, fortune for years but rarely have they valued time till they ran short of it. We often throw away our present for the uncertainty of the future and yet crib in the end that maybe actions in the past would have guaranteed an even better future. Eternalists might disagree with me, stating that time is stateless and we humans are the ones who place these boundaries of the past, present and future but since we have placed it, I’ll conform to those limitations in this piece.

We have heard of companies splashing money on time management modules, folks getting personal secretaries to keep their life in order [in lot of ways], and yet when it comes to the individual you and individual me, we don’t seem to value it. Meetings called for at eighteen hundred hours never seem to have enough people till eighteen hundred and thirty. Being fashionably late is the “in” thing at least on page 3 of my newspaper and it has become so commonplace; organizers get shocked when people turn up on time. The government sector has always been known for its tardiness and its in house joke of punctuality being arriving 5 minutes before your boss. Don’t people realize the gravity of such callousness? Assume a counter clerk were to come in 15 minutes late. Ten people waiting for him, adds up to 150 minutes being wasted! And who knows if these 10 people have 10 other appointments that get delayed. We are talking about a major crunch up in time resources. The worst part is this hypothetical situation is a more optimal realistic scenario and things can get even worse.

Talking about time, well, its just manifestation of time itself, goes on and on.

Once upon a time,

Not usually the way you start a rhyme.

But that’s what poetic licenses are for

To have Wren and Martin in furor

Ever spent time looking at your watch?

Ever spent thought on every tick you hear?

Listen up close to what it has to say,

You are a step closer to your future.

Truly said that time and tide went for none

To lose against the clock is hope’s demise

But remember O men of the wise homo erectus

Even a broken clock shows the right time twice.

Men waste away their youth for gold and glory

Fighting it out with nail and tooth.

Then peacefully they crib in old age

Throwing away gold to regain their youth.

Like a river from its source

Speeding on rapids, meandering on plains

Time has traveled for miles and miles

Healing the human body and its pains.

Look up into the twinkling night sky

Millions of stars shining bright

Most of them have lost their will to survive

Yet in their death, they shower us with light.

Time has been running from the dawn of mankind

Shall remain running after our twilight and beyond

Her mysteries keep alluring us yet keep eluding us

Hidden by the swerve of her lyrical wand.

ps: Ten past ten was the chosen time for watches in ads not coz Lincoln died at that time but purely for aesthetic appeal as the logo of the maker can be showcased properly and it looks like a smiley :)

The Supreme Being Teaches Spider-Man How To Be In Love and Raimi How To Make Hindi Movies

Beyond doubt, the largest movie industry in the world is Bollywood.. in terms of quantity. For quality, i'd say look elsewhere. The largest English speaking audience that lies untapped is no doubt

in the Indian subcontinent. So what is the best way to get your trumps right the third time? Outsource your comic book hero to India. No, this isn't about Pavitr Prabhakar in his dhotis and his

lady love Meera Jain in the suburbs of Mumbai but it is our very own international star Peter Parker dancing to the tunes of an Indian ghost director [My "sixth sense" KKKKolloborates with

anonymous sources] in Spider Man III. Before I recklessly criticise, the humour department has done a lovely job in subtle shades of comic relief, so no complaints there. Now where was I ?

What defines a Hindi movie? You need melodrama, tears, songs, action sequences, illogical reasoning, sterotyped anticlimax and voila you have a hindi movie? Would SMIII get certified

Bollywood? Lets find out. I still can't get over the fact that it costs BD 3 for a movie ticket (I mentally convert it to Rs 300 approx!!! ouch!!!!) Its so much cheaper when u convert stuff over

there to dinars and feel assured you are not wasting cash :)

The movie starts off with how Spiderman lives in UTOPIA of his own, everything going for him. NYC loves him, Mary Jane is on Broadway and he is ready to marry her. While he and Harry still

dont seem to be on talking terms, Peter has spun his web of intriguing romance around Mary. Usual JAB LOVE HUA material.

Kurkure time and its kahaani mein twist.

Since Koi Mil Gaya is our only sci fi movie, its the one that gets the tribute with alive version of Hershey s Chocolate sauce [yuuuuummmmmm] falls out from a meteorite [coincidentally Peter

thinks its from Mars (which btw is a certified non vegetarian chocolate as announced recently by its bosses)] and decides Peter aka Krish is the chosen one and follows him through. Then again

maybe Chandramukhi ['93 Salman Sridevi starrer] could have been an inspiration though with negative shades.

Then we have our best friends turned foes pick up a fight and the good ol rope trip does the trick :) for Spider Man to win though the Hindi sentiments rush in when he finds Harry lying outcold

on the street and rushes him to hospital. [Thank God Raimi is just learning and missed out on the bawling music usually played when a near and dear one is rushed to the hospital] All that hard

hitting action, and apna Harry is suffering from short term memory loss leading to him becoming buddies with Peter again and the movie climax is given away with the dialogue- "I would give my

life for them [Peter and MJ]."

Villain One: Marko Flint makes an entry and the emotional good guy stuck with bad luck melodrama pops up as we find out he doing all this just for his terminally ill daughter and his desperation

leading to crime [Innumerable hindi movies have used this theme] and potential murder of Uncle Ben. Yup, it wasnt that freaky hairstyle dude Spidey banged up before in an abandoned building

up this new character who killed Uncle Ben. NYPD shows its CBI style efficiency in finding this out within 2 years. How he became sandman by ending up into a silicon chamber in a physics

institute is jus a random afterthought in the movie.

Whats a Hindi movie without songs and tears? Reminiscent of DCH and "woh ladki hai kahaan" , you have MJ well trying at the opera and her love PP watching and singing along. Obviously the

reviews of her performance are horrendous and shes all broken to find Peter gets more self centred as he tries to help her. Right from the hero to the villain, everyone sheds a tear thanks to

Sam Raimi providing a cheer for the glycerine industry who can now challenge Ekta Kapoor with bigger clientele offers.

Another instance of comic fluency as a wild crane wreaks havoc but Spidey rescues Gwen, Eddie s gal (Eddie is this freelance photographer fighting for Parkers job at Daily Bugle). Gwen also

turns out to be Parker's lab partner [Yes, he still is a geek and all you engineers out there, there is a MJ for all of us ;) if not Gwen] How is the World always a small place in movies?

Another creepy little doubt, [no Murphy, the limelights not on you] when "X" number of things are required to give you hope, why do all X things go bad at the same synchronised moment?

Gwen also turns out to be police commissioner s daughter[World = NYC is a small place] so our hero is going to get the key to the city for saving her life. The "pati, patni and woh" angle pops in

as he gives Gwen the special upside down kiss reserved for MJ. Rifts in love have begun. MJ's dilemma - Highly successful partner who doesnt understand her while she undergoes career crisis.

Meanwhile KYUNKI AUNT BHI KABHI LOVER THI, Peter Parker gets advice and the sentimental "ghar ki amaanat" ring to make MJ feel special when he asked her out. But being a Bollywood

movie, how can love blossom so easily? You need a vamp, Gwen takes care of that by situation, not by character. So MJ has to find Harry aka Emraan Hashmi arms [who suddenly remembered he

had to avenge his father's death] and our next dance sequence fitted in just for the sake of it.

EMOTION OVERDOSE: Hit a superhero hard at his soft spot. Kasautii Zindagi kay? Idea?!! MJ, if you love Parker so much and want him to live, break up with him!! Richter Scale hits
9.5 as Peter Parker breaks down making the dark side and the gooey stuff take him over with a sleek black costume and he becomes cooler in his own eyes and Johnny Lever in ours.

He goes berserk with his agression leading to two subplots. Eddie had his whole life dependent on one thing and Parker spoilt that. Villain No. 2 has a motive :) His attitude leads MJ ask the

zillion dollar question, " Who are you? [Tumhe kya hogaya. Main tumhe nahi jaanti]" and his transition is met at Church with BELLS tolling [The Almighty! No hindi movie can have good beat the

evil against all odds without him brought into the perspective- every director's answer to all things impossible] where he becomes the friendly neighbourhood spiderman and VENOM makes his

entry.

Illogical coincidences and everything is a coincidence always:-
Millions and millions of taxis in NYC but Mary Jane would obviously choose the one Eddie was driving so the plot could continue. And we reach our anticlimax :) 2 villains, one heroine. Hero tries

standing up to the occasion but he is mercilessly clobbered. Again, if things have to go wrong, all of them go wrong at the same time. But do I hear Sholay? Yes, Junior Goblin decides to save the

day for his best friends and in the end comes in the way when Venom tries to kill Spiderman. How Venom is finished off is a very very dry way to finish such an important Spiderman character,
Under the Bollywod scriptwriters rulebook, climaxes should follow certain guidelines:
1) Hero in tight spot as his love is in threatened position [MJ hangs on for her life literally while Sandman pounds Spidey]
2) Destiny takes a turn and plot has a twist dependent on overall storyline [Friendship- Osbourne Jnr makes an entry]
3) A near and dear one of the hero should get fatally wounded in trying to save hero [Harry in the name of friendship sacrifices his life]
4) Hero beats all and overpowers villain [Obvious!!!!]
5) Alls well that ends well and they live happily ever after. [Need I say more]

All said and done, Sam has done a decent job at his first foray into Bollywood and Karan has competition!!

Rise Phoenix Rise

Yup! It’s the same old white virtual blank sheet greeting me like always except this time ALT+F4 is fighting a losing battle. The previous posted blog was centuries ago, that’s mainly because talks with me and God about a 36 hour day fell apart and other priorities caught up. Now that I am home sweet home just in the nick of 12^th May J , I finally decided to do what I should have been doing regularly. Let bygones be bygones. Doesn’t mean I am going to fill you in with did I brush my teeth, or the fact that the newspaper is still 72 pages or that opera singer still practices in the opposite building. Nor are blogs just a place to dump the forwards you get. Why call it a blog if you are just going through a compilation of forwarded forwards that have been roaming the cyber galaxies long before you surfed on it. The previous warranted outburst was at the top rankers at the ibibo contest. When I went through few of the top entries- it made me cry at how farcical blogging had been made by them. It wasn’t about quality blogs, it was …. [Non printable words only seem to fill that place up] Though I rather blame the framing of the criterion by those guys since I can’t blame the top rankers- they are just playing the game within the rules.

Blogging as I always thought was a way to express your thoughts on whatever you felt like expressing, not what others would think you want to express. That pretty much doesn’t give anyone including me any right to criticize anyone if even their blog is just an arbit collection of voyeuristic photographs. After all, the person is just expressing his thoughts. But the surprising fact remains that these are fast growing “blogs” and the massive male audience keeps on “coming” faster and faster for such “blogs”. [Still can’t get myself to certify them as blogs, hence the double quotes]

Though the definition of blogging has been so abstract, anyone and everyone who puts up a page on the internet with a morsel of information can say he/she blogs. So I rest my case. Moving on to more mundane things like ones birthday and I am done with that too pretty much. I know I would sound like the oddest person on planet Earth to have celebrated my birthday having done nothing except lazing around, but being in my shoes, you’d understand that it in itself is a great thing. But before I close this chapter of becoming 21, I have to thank each one of you for messaging me, scrapping me, texting me, chatting up and calling up to wish me. Means a lot to me when you take that effort even it isn’t much. Back to moving on to 21, once upon this number meant significance, guess 18 has taken over that domain and from 18 onwards it’s the same phase till you get done with your undergrad or so I think. Shall find out in a years time!!

Not a crisp blog at all, I know. But my rustiness needed to be flushed out of the system and what better day to choose than your birthday to have a brand new start. So, let us term this post as a wake up call for me to get back to do the write thing :) once I remember my password i.e.

Ps: sorry about the delay in getting back to all those who had dropped in your comments.