La Beauté De Paris

Mon voyage à Paris était beau
Le temps n'était pas aussi froid que la glace ni aussi chaud que le feu.
La vue de la Tour Eiffel était vraiment panoramique
Le pont d’Alexandre 3, l'Obélisque, Notre Dame et Le Louvre l'a rendu historique.
La croisière sur Seine m'a pris à travers le coeur de la ville
Et autour de l'île,
Aussi l'Hôtel-Dieu, le Musée d'Orsay et Statue de la Liberté.
C'était comme les fêtes de l'été.
Mon voyage de rêve à Euro Disney
Et de voir mon personnage favori - Mickey.
J'ai bien aimé mon voyage
Et d’écrire au sujet de la beauté de Paris prendrait des pages.

Year Of Publication: 2003
Background: Once upon a time, yes! I tried my hand at whipping up French poetry.

The Last Laugh

It was at a local fundraising banquet
The challenge to prove our manhood was set.
To capture the majesty of the jungle, our goal
In a hostile world with people as dark as coal.
We reached our destination in a sea-faring trip
Along with our dreams, each one carried a grip
With a guide we were forced to hire
We sat for dinner around the jumping bonfire.
Around those sparkling flames
We played those childish games
Singing and dancing merrily
Without a care for the tomorrow, that we would see.
The menagerie that this jungle held
Kept our aspirations to return home quelled.
Soon the sandman, who we had so long defied,
Entered as the last glowing ember died.
The slithering of snakes, ruckus of the jungle and the tropical sun
Heralded our start for some gamely fun.
With magazines, cartridges and guns on our shoulders
We crept silently from bogs to plains and around boulders.
Then we heard that majestic earth shattering roar
As our target preyed on an unsuspecting boar.
The sweat on us sizzled under the hot copper sun
Soon we realized, hunting no longer was simple fun.
Each step taken was a big accomplishment now
As our kill thought for more prey to catch and how.
I stuck out my saliva dripping finger
To find where the wind would linger,
Soon heavy tropical clouds hid our ultimate source of light
And wished all our halcyon thoughts “Good Night”.
Our hunting cur fled on hearing a sly hiss.
I still ponder if he survived death’s kiss.
The jungle soon treated us as its enemy
As if we were here to change here destiny.
The jungle slandered us with a bouquet of hisses, howls, squeaks and a growl
But this ain’t a game that I could cry ‘foul’
Soon the gloomy and solemn night prevailed
And the thunderous wind galled.
I sat keeping a solitary watch
Gazing at the scores of eyes that reflected the rays of my torch.
The bitter cold and unwelcome guests bit me everywhere,
I let them at their work without care.
These were minute matters for me
For long ‘fore, I had struck by thorns and an old bee.
Next day, we started with a reputation at stake
And an aim to prove, hunting here wasn’t a piece of cake.
We spent a minute in remembrance
Of a friend who fought till he lost his last sense.
Those pythons had been at work
Killing him might have presented them nature’s perk.
We soon set up with guns and determination
Food and water though it was in ration.
Wolves and rats played games in me
Nothing satisfied them, even two sips of tea.
We trekked, trekked and trekked on and on
And the only relief was a poor little fawn.
We roamed round and round
Until our original start point we found.
Tropical disease struck the cashier whose mouth was full of puss
We couldn’t help him for our own energy was ebbing away from us.
Realizing our diminishing luck, we decided to pack
But nature hadn’t finished, it kept us back.
A tribal saved that petite cashier
But not before filling us with nature’s fear
We held our noses high with pride
Even higher, than a man show-offing his newly wed bride.
Deciding to proceed with the hunt
This time we put our best foot front.
Filled with humongous portions of delicacies at the village
We continued for our prey with full rage.
The jungle had become a bit kinder than before
But she still held contempt in her heart’s core.
We had started with a merry party of five
Now only four survive.
Knowing our purpose, the villagers showered us with praises
For his majesty had killed all but that solitary cow that grazes.
The cowardish villagers had shunned the outside world
The only sign of bravery was the leopard skin that lay furled.
They were excited and scared on seeing humans in alien clothes
As if landmarks, they visited us in hordes.
We followed the South wind for a day
And soon were on the trails of our prey.
While in search of clues, I had wounded my knee
But we went on, with carcasses being our success’s key.
Our parched throats taxed the nature’s pond by drinking away litres
But were soon stopped by a roar, away by about few metres.
We were wonderstruck by the charm of our misery’s cause
But took cover, before it marked us with its paws.
The cashier aimed and shot
While the rest ran to the booty we had caught.
The King tried to give a fight
After all, even in his death, he was packed with might.
We had returned from the land of sun kissed faces
And back in our normal paces.
Our victory was talk of town
Oh! It was wonderful to see those cowards frown.
This is the history of that lion rug
Which still gives my heartstrings a tug.
The frightful lion trophy stares at me
“Nature will have the last laugh,” says he.

Background: Dug this outta the archive. Wrote this a day before my Science exam during boards in 10th Standard (March 2002). Now you know what I was doing ;) Just got the flow and then decided to stop at 100 lines and hence my first centopoem (cent-o-pom)

Vickypedia quote: "Exams bring the best out of you - out of the hall that is."

New York Nagaram : Part III

Week 1: 21ST July 2008 – 25th July 2008

There weren’t any Monday Morning blues but there was an air of excitement apart from the fact that we had to fix up our timings of using the bathroom so as to maximize sleep time while the other roommate dressed up. Also the nagging fact that Indians are stereotyped into being inconsiderate about time and don’t have an idea about punctuality which we had to prove wrong. Another rat race began as a huge group headed off from the lobby together to reach 1 Liberty Plaza. Once again, we found so many other new joinees with the company’s trademark logo spotted on their bags that we didn’t have to worry about directions. Our guide this time was Sharanya from the New York office and she suddenly stopped at the entrance and removed her shoes making us wonder what happened. Welcome to the world of women whims and fancies, as it is a daily routine for most of them to change into sexier and less comfortable footwear in office. By afternoon, we were given our classrooms and schedules for the coming weeks and I would be in 180 ML on the 31st floor! The first thing our instructor points out is “The most unique thing about this class is that you can see the Statue of Liberty from your seats.” Our instructor is also a certified pilot who owns a plane and flies down for his classes! The repertoire of instructors we had, were brilliant and eccentric. End of training session, rushed to give the packet of Indian sweets I had brought for my New York counterparts but little did I realize how calorie conscious a country this is as polite small bits were taken by the team and I thought I could actually serve the entire floor and still have a piece or two left. Then we headed out to Battery Park for the welcome party organized by the company. Free for alcohol seemed to be the flavour of the season as people downed red wine, white wine and numerous other varieties while the guy gave up on the group of Bangalore NAPAs who got the table next to the kitchen door and ended up finishing all the vegetarian platters as and when they arrived. Khaboos , hammouz were the centrestage in the snacks menu followed by varieties of cheese. Then we went wild with the Bangalore NAPAs photo shoot with Statue of Liberty in the background. A unique thing in the park were these set of music making tiles on the floor which we tried to set into action, which if seen from far seemed like a bunch of formally clad youngsters jumping around mad probably post some loss in the financial markets. Done with our shenanigans, we finally headed back catching the subway at Bowling Green having had dinner on the snacks that had been provided. Major movie plans we made to watch over the night and after 2 changes, stuck to "Jaane tu ya Jaane na" and ended up sleeping through half of it.

Next day morning, routine had fit in and we made it just in the nick of time and we also got introduced to the concept of prime time traffic on the subway. The routine also included me grabbing the Financial Times and reading it on our way to office- the NY way of saving time.
You come in ten minutes earlier or later and its empty, but prime time, thank god for closed doors else people would have been hanging like those on our Mumbai local trains. Rajesh Dasari got a blast for not getting there on time when his instructor rudely told him that you can get Rolex watches for $1 at some roadside shop and would probably be a good investment.
Come evening and some of us decided to go to Brooklyn Bridge and see NY skyline sparkling in the night. To our utter surprise, in small groups of 10-12 people, the entire... I mean the entire Bangalore group was there on Brooklyn Bridge. “The more the merrier” indeed as song and dance routine started from movie songs to TV ads- if its got a chord or two, it’s a song. Meanwhile Jagnoor aka Juggy G and Kalyan decided to try out racing with Ambre including slow walking ;) Hilarious watching them do the paces. A streak of red lights moved in an anti parallel direction to a streak of yellow lights on the Manhattan Bridge forming a nice pattern. The stars hibernate in New York City as they are outshone by the millions of lights that dot the city skyline. It finally got pretty cold and the entire group decided to head back to hotel and get enough sleep to keep us awake in class, which in the near future we realised is a lost cause.

Today evening, Arun and Sowmya being the devout Tamilians they are, pulled us along to Hotel Saravanaa so it was round two for Shravani and me. Patil also joined in on the plan and the five of us headed to the place. It is an odd sight to see people downing Dosa with beer but then, New York is a city of oddities. The Rain Gods decided to make their debut performance on this particular day and we got stuck near some apartment and had one of the ladies staying there let us in while the rain gods partied. We quickened our steps as it slowed down to a drizzle bypassing speeding cars and the splashes they caused as we reached the hotel drenched and enjoyed the wonders of a hot bath in the middle of the night having been soaked to the bone.

Thursday and plans were being made to watch Dark Knight someplace. We finally zeroed in on a theatre close to the hotel – Kips Bay. After class, decided to check out the Fulton market. It looks like one of those markets you watch on TV with no vehicular movement, wide pavements, roadside cafes and general cheer around apart from the fact it overlooked the water. Coming back to the late night show of Dark Knight, probably it was a combination of us being tired or the ultra hype about the movie, apart from brilliant performance by Heath Ledger, we all found the movie to be just another cat and mouse game. I know lot of people disagree with me on this, probably Ill need to watch the movie again being wide awake but then we were more into experiencing the theatre and popcorn culture of the Americas. Late night show meant a lot of couples hovering around us minding their own business. If you have been to an INOX in India, you haven’t missed much but an IMAX experience is a completely different level of its own. While we walked back at two in the morning, a couple of police cars were parked beside a diner. Hoping to see some action, it just turned out to be late supper/ midnight snack time for the coppers. Though a few fire engines did breeze by to the rescue of some poor soul.

Close to office, the whole street had been decked up with Indian flags, tricolor balloons, recent hindi songs blaring especially a lot of Singh is King and Indian food lined down the streets. It was an Indian fair where music CDs, desi khana, desi clothes and a lot more was being sold. Made a lot of my fellow friends homesick and amused many more of us with the innocent questions that our non Indian friends had. Richa Gupta and Namrata Singh struck lucky when a random lady walked by and offered them two tickets to the Bacchan’s Unforgettable Tour at Long Island since she didn’t want to go for it! Meanwhile the few of us who heard about the fair late struck lucky because by the time we went in, they were closing up and selling all the food at 20% the original price. A few of us decided to head out to Penn Station to buy tickets for Washington DC over the weekend to be stopped by Nishant who seemed against us going there. “Yaar! Washington bekaar hai. Photos me dekh lena. America aur kuch bhi hai dekhne ko” We never did get an objective answer to what “aur kuch” (what else) meant but it seemed an interesting reason nonetheless. “Lol! Come all the way to America and see it online with photos. Indeed”

Now I introduce the concept of DUMB BLONDE! On reaching Penn Station which also houses Madison Square Garden or vice versa, we looked around for the office of the Chinese operator who’d get us to Washington in just $35 round trip. Since I was the planner for this trip, had done painstaking research on it covering all angles including the availability of public toilets in the middle of the night especially since our group consisted of some 9 girls and 2 guys. We found a video store run by an Indian who told us the small counter in the front was the bus ticket counter. A really hot blonde sat there and being a boy, decided I should strike conversation. Unfortunately the attractive factor disappeared the moment she started talking and I realised dumb blonde is a true phenomenon. (This is to ascertain that not all blondes are dumb and the author does not suggest anything against this in any means or manner ) We asked her about her branch in Chinatown that had a bus which left later than the 8:45 PM bus that left from Penn Station. She had no idea and directed me to a Chinese guy who looked like those druglords you see in Hollywood movies with those arm length tattoos and ponytail included. He told me that the Chinatown one was another franchise so I’d have to go there and book tickets but would get them on the spot so needn’t hurry for it. Having settled the matter, I parted ways with Annie, Sowmya and Shravani who headed back while I went on to meet Divya Ashok (who was interning with Lehman Brothers then) and her friend (oops. dont remember name ) at some chaat place. The place had fully desi decor, those plastic chairs, jugs and glasses and the Indian owner trying an American accent and getting his grammar all mixed up. We grabbed a plate of bhel, and then decided to show me around while we caught up on good old times. CONWAY, right opposite Macy’s is the place to be if you want to buy chocolates for cheap in Manhattan and also other items too. Something similar to Big Bazaar in India or Lulu stores in the Gulf, though CONWAY has no branch. It was real nice meeting up but then I was too tired to follow up on their offer to head over to their place or go to Pachas with the gang so ended up coming to the hotel and bumped into Kalyan and gang and we all decided to play MAFIA.

Amit Ambre and Nupur were the only ones who knew about this game and while they tried to teach the disinterested few and also debate the finer points of their versions. But once we started, there was no stop. For some reason, Kalyan and me would be bumped off in the first round and if we were not, it was most probably because we were mafia. Blame it on Yasha’s intuition “I know yaar, seriously. Its Shah or Kalyan, intuition hai.” Or plain old hard luck. Nupur came to my rescue once when she played God coaxing the Mafia to spare me once, and hence I survived till the end in one of those rare moments. But what started off as a kiddie name no one would be interested in turned out to be an all night venture and next thing we know it was 6 in the morning! Kalyan, Nupur, Aparna, Yasha, Kurella, Ambre, Senthil, Ajay George and I can’t remember who else was there but we were loads of us. We are now ambassadors of the game and if we spot about 8 plus jobless people, this game is the only thing that comes to our mind. We did have minor interruptions as "slightly tipsy but having had a blast" Ankur, Vaibhav, Nikhil turned up after a night at Pachas which in their words was “American Pie is a true story” They seemed amused at how we seemed more high on the game than they were on alcohol. Early Saturday Morning and I had decided no point sleeping as i had to pick up Kate and the other London NAPAs on our way to the Central Park outing for NAPAs.

New York Nagaram - Part II

18th - 20th July 2008

We are getting used to waking up at 5 and 6 AM to find a vibrant city doing its paces. Our first day at our New Jersey office, everyone was dressed in their best or the best they could gather. We started off as an army of some 50 odd desis dressed in our best walking down the roads of New York obviously making our presence felt as we discussed ways to reach New Jersey with everyone having collected a bit of info of how to get to office from various sources. As luck should have it, we had another army of local NAPAs headed the same way so there were no issues reaching home base. The rest of the day was an orientation to the company and I shalnt go too much into detail about that except we had four Shahs in a row by sheer coincidence. Poonam and Daniel from the London office, while me and Mayank were from the Bangalore office. The day went off really quick because I had fun company in the form of Raagini as we blabbered on and on about lot of stuff that I fail to recollect now. We did miss out on the funny dude that everyone was pretty impressed with. Post the orientation was a cocktail party that adventurous Patil, Shravani, Radha and me in quest to get beautiful pictures of the New York skyline missed out on as we pushed our luck and reached the highest floor in the building. The question still dogs me, with a view like this, how do people manage to work ? Having satisfied the photographer in us, we headed down for a session of group pictures with the entire batch. Once again confusion reigned as Radha and me were the only ones who made it to the ferry that would take us across to New York from New Jersey. The journey was short and breezy, and then we were officially lost as we searched for the closest subway that would take us home. One thing of prime importance, carry those free subway maps you get in most hotels, it has been a major lifeline for us. With the confidence that we can’t get lost, we finally found a green line subway having bypassed many building of federal importance. Today would be my turn at being tourist guide as Ruby, Patil, Raagini, Shravani, Sowmya and I (Selective Six) headed off to visit Times Square. Being in our backyard, Times Square is going to feature a number of times in this trip and its worth it every single time even if you don’t do anything but aimlessly loiter around there. NASDAQ, Morgan Stanley, Lehman Brothers where the buildings we spotted this time and spent time in Hard Rock Cafe just chilling out to good music and testing their out rightly weird and different collection of sofas and armchairs. This was followed by a visit to the Virgin Megastore and its foray of mentionable and unmentionable items for sale. It was about 2 AM when we decided to head back and our decision gained more weight as we noticed a potential gang war right in front of our eyes as police swarmed in to stop an untowardly incident. The rest of the night was a scene out of “That 70s show” without the pot and the smoke as we shared stories of college and earlier. Also marked my first of the many night outs I would make in New York. The mantra was plain and simple: We didn’t have time to waste in NYC over sleep. Its 4 in the morning and we decided to head out for a morning walk along the riverside near First Avenue. Following this up was my first and last visit to the gym, which I realised, was a waste of time as we walked enough as a tourist to burn the unnecessary calories. On reaching back to the hotel, Ruby doo had planned a cycling trip in Central Park while Shravani was feeling ill and had decided to chuck the day. Highly disappointed that someone should go against the mantra, I decided to head out to a less strenuous sight seeing trip and headed out to United Nations which is just a block away from our hotel. The home of the organisation that I have always dreamt of working for right there, a stone throw away and a building I could see everyday morning when I got up. A wonderful experience indeed to be in it and though we couldn’t head into the General Assembly, I had checked off another bullet on my bucket list. We then decided to have dinner at Hotel Saravanaa, the branch of the famous Hotel Saravana Bhavan (HSB) – a brand name in Tamil Nadu. Exorbitant prices like its parent in India but the food is equally good. Located on Lexington 28^th, it is surrounded by lot of Indian shops and restaurants and is the Little India of Midtown Manhattan. Meanwhile Ruby doo had managed to crash her cycle onto a tree at Central park and this would mark the start of her love affair with cycles and crashing. A pretty long day earning me the moniker of 24x7 enthu cutlet (PSG branded). Rise and shine on Sunday morning and as a major group we headed out to Fifth avenue en route to Central Park. Fifth Avenue has the whos who of brands lined up neat and bright with price tags that blow us off our feet. The famous Tiffanys & Co. , Prada, Gucci, Swarovski, Rolex, NBA, World of Disney, Benetton, Bulce Vuigi, and numerous other stores that I haven’t even heard of. Princess Jasmine had come down for a visit to Disney following Hannah Montana’s visit the weekend before that. Much to my chagrin, Jon Bon Jovi had been down to NYC for a free concert the day before I left for New York. Towards the lower end of this stretch close to Central Park is a glass cube with the trademark bitten apple. This marks the entrance to the famous Fifth Avenue store based in the basement filled with gadgets to play with to your satisfaction. The best part about this store is that its open 24 x7 so I’d suggest heading there late night or early morning where you can pretty much have the whole place to yourself rather than having to crowd over with other apple eyed customers. Also on this end is the hotel made famous by Macaulay Culkins in Home Alone 2, along with the pond near Central Park where he meets the bird lady. Our next stop was MoMA- Museum of Modern Art, which I enjoyed but would have probably appreciated more if I had a fine understanding of what those random strokes signified in most of the exhibits. Still standing strong with our adrenaline running, we decided to head over to Brooklyn bridge and walk over it and probably perform a “Kal Ho Na Ho” on the way. This is where we met an Afghani water seller who was really friendly with us and we started discussing the state of affairs in Afghanistan. He asked where Jagnoor was from. His answer Punjab was quickly interrupted with a “India wala ya Pakistan wala?” The same question popped up when i said Gujarat and then it struck us the commonalities in the states. Only if Kalyan had been with us, we’d have included Hyderabad in the loop. We refused his offer of free water and carried on our walk along Brookyln bridge. The bridge has a history behind it too. It was thought impossible to build this bridge but it was the sheer willpower of the architect and his son that the plan went through. The project was almost shelved when the father was bed ridden, but his son carried out his fathers commands and the bridge was finally completed. From Brooklyn bridge, you can also see the younger Manhattan bridge. Spiderman fans will be able to associate with this place along with Shah Rukh Khan fans. Probably Godzilla fans too but the point from where Godzilla enters New York City is down south, closer to my office near South Sea Port. On returning home, we finally decided that weekends would be for outside New York City while weekdays after training would be dedicated to New York City.

New York Nagaram - Once upon a time...

16th July 2008 - 17th July 2008
Part I of New York Trip series

It’s pretty ironic that I finally start writing about this trip to New York on my flight back from New York. But then again this is the first time that I have managed to get some free time to myself in the past two months of whirlwind activity. Probably this will serve me as a trip down memory lane as one of the greatest trips 60 students fresh out of college could have ever had in their life. Throughout the trip, there have been lot of things that were hyped up and acted as a dampener, but the hype about this trip that has been created ever since I got my offer, well; it was worth it and probably more.
The Chennai trip to get our US visa would serve as the appetiser to this trip as we were pampered by corporate perks. But that was just the beginning and 16th July would serve as the actual launch pad for two months of a helluva ride. Time zone difference math works out real sweet when you are going across the globe towards west but equally insane when it’s towards the east as I spend my entire weekend in air!!!
The view from the flight provided a contrast of sceneries- the deserts of Oman to the lathered whites of the Alps, the lush vineyards of Italy to the massive void in the Atlantic Ocean. As we approached JFK airport, the Manhattan skyline trumpeted its presence from a distance and we were already in love with the Big Apple.
No movie can be perfect, so we had to have a bumpy ride at some point. Flight to Dubai had been delayed by one hour but then we got to see Winona Ryder though we still have our doubts since she was without make up. Similarly, on landing at JFK, a group of 30 freshers waited in the arrivals lounge with no one around to pick us up. There had been some miscommunication and there we were stuck figuring our way out. Coin phones obviously accept only coins and none of us had any. The guys being chivalrous went on a mission to exchange but were blatantly refused. The girls struck lucky faster. Shabana had it lucky finding a Bohri family and worked out well for all of us. After figuring out how to use a coin phone and whom to call, we had another hour of melo drama as we tried contacting our program coordinators here and in India while people figured alternative means of transportation. Long story short, we were finally on our way to our hotel – the Eastgate Towers.
Our driver, some chachera bhai of Schumacher zoomed through the sights and sounds of NYC that fell on our way throwing pointers at us on how to survive in New York city- the boroughs, the metro, Shea stadium, United Nations, Brookyln Bridge and many more.
We all were looking forward to the 25 storey skyscraper that we would call home for the next two months and boy were we in for a shock. Tall is a relative term for a forty storey building shared the street with us and boy, we looked like dwarves.
I knew NYC was a pretty liberal place with everyone being pretty fine and open with everything but we (Sahil and me) hadn’t expected to be asked to share a flat with Nupur and Aparna. Lol! The look on their faces beat our puzzled expressions when we first heard about it. The hotel had a complimentary gym and we made major plans to start our fitness regimen in a place where obesity is a topic of national importance and soon realised how futile our efforts would be.
Around eight pm was when Sahil and I had finally settled into our room. Each one of us had double beds and I think they were bought from the same place that makes jumping castles for kindergarten kids. After jumping on them to our hearts glee, the next thing I know is its 4 am and we had already skipped our first meal of the trip thanks to jet lag. Around 5 am, having bored ourselves of the limited options on television, we decided to make use of the fact that we were up early only to find out New York gets up earlier than us, or more like the city never sleeps. The midtown Manhattan is a city planner’s utopia so is it of a tourist. It’s easy to get confused but it’s tough to get lost. The rectangular grid system consisting of avenues and streets is so easy to follow especially since every street and avenue is clearly marked at every intersection, we had no issues finding our way around though we did end up taking wrong turns in the starting till we got our bearings right.
Back at around six am, we bump into Senthil who moves on to legendary status throughout the trip rivalled only by Chuck Norris who maintains his position over God but refuses to acknowledge it saying he’s out of the rat race. Senthil had already begun his long innings with firangi paani and it’s now I realise that I was supposed to take a picture of the entire collection of cans and bottles he would have had in two months.
The first thing anyone who is staying in New York for a day, a week or a month should do is go to the nearest metro station and buy those unlimited travel cards for the above mentioned time durations. We found our way to Grand Central – a motley group consisting of Ambre, Kalyan, Senthil, Nikhil, Sahil and me. The grandeur of the place adds weight to the name. Having bought our monthly passes, we decided to start off on our adventure and got onto the 4, 5, 6 lines also known as the green line. The station that caught our attention is the Mecca of the financial world- the one and only Wall Street. “Stand clear of the closing doors please” was the first automated P.A. s we heard and counts as one of the top five favourite lines of our New York trip. As we entered into Wall Street, numerous movies flashed by and we felt a part of the same tinsel town that we have awed about all these years. The New York Stock Exchange (Nay-see), Trinity Church, suited and booted men with that air of confidence and awesome and swanky cars (In Pursuit of Happyness). Here we are the place that has probably the largest concentration of money making aficionados. Probably this wasn’t the right time but it surely was the right place. As we walked down and saw the Wall Street bull glistening in the summer sun, I noticed bankers walking down and glancing at it, probably wondering when he would take charge of their markets and save the industry from one of its biggest lows since the great depression of 1929. As we continued our way to the Battery Park, we were finally introduced to the culture of street performers as couple of Afro American performers performed street dancing to a diverse audience and managed to keep us all entertained with their humour. “Never mess with a black guy, coz we can run faster than you, and ya, we got Nike shoes too”, “We are professional dancers and great at our job. Is that why we are still performing on the streets?” and other quotes that I faintly remember but managed to crack the audience up catching our pulse at the right moment.

“Behold her , single in the sea,
Yon solitary downtown lass
Standing firm by herself
Stop here or gently pass.”

This rehashed version of Solitary reaper (Sorry Wordsworth, I hope it is you) for that but the Statue of Liberty stared at us from a distance and our bucket list seemed to have managed to get the biggest catch on day 1 itself. We also caught a glimpse of New Jersey’s tallest building which also turns out to be Goldman Sachs property  and the sun was playing wonders with it. While headed back, we overheard someone asking directions for Ground Zero which became our next destination. On reaching there, how do I take a picture and say I was there? A picture of a void in the New York skyline? A vast emptiness in the middle of downtown New York? Life seemed to have returned to normal around the place but our minds raced back to 2001 when we saw people rushing down these narrow lanes amongst clouds of dust and rubble, chocked by the fear of the unknown and the devastating losses of the known.
Another thing you soon realise about New York is the ease at which you can walk great distances without mentally feeling tired for the amount of energy around you acts as a positive influence. As we headed back, the third batch of Bangalore NAPAs had landed at hotel and they had enjoyed the same experience of having no one pick them up at the airport on arrival and we shared our déjà vu moment for the day.
Amongst all this adventure, there is something called appetite which the NYC cuisine easily satisfied for the non vegetarian palate. But the vegan struggle continued. Not risking adventure in this domain, I think I stuck to subway footlongs which are way tastier than what you get in India under the same franchise. The vegetables are delectable and the options of breads and sauces too go a long way.
Come nightfall and its time to make the first of our umpteenth visits to Times Square – the razzle and the dazzle. This trip also introduced us to the fact of how easy it is lose people in a crowd and we ended up as four groups by the time we got back to the hotel. Times Square is a photogenic place and the milling crowds mainly consist of tourists like you and me. The neon signs compete with the photo flashes and the stars up there have just given up. Random vickypedia fact: There was some ordinance that every building on Times Square should have a flashy display board. Planet Hollywood, Virgin Megastore, Toys R Us, M&Ms and numerous other stores make a bold presence along this stretch followed by Broadway theatres a few blocks away and the (in)famous gentlemen clubs. The Toys R Us has a 20 feet tall Ferris wheel within the store and yes, it works and can seat adults and children alike.

Different Strokes

Anvek pushed a few sketches away as he placed his coffee mug on the littered rickety table. Something flew past him and landed right behind him. Visibly shaken, he turned round to see a small boy with a sheepish grin pick up a Frisbee and utter something that sounded like a sorry before he disappeared into the crowd. It was carnival time in the small town of Simarita Kalance and colourful tents marked the skyline of this town. This annual attraction saw life seep into this town which lay sleepy for the rest of the year. Most of the men folk worked in the nearby industries and barely came home while the womenfolk had given up on the soil to reap any fruit. They had moved on to selling their homemade wares in the nearby towns. But a carnival was a time of joy and merriment as children ran around with cotton candies, huggable bears and numerous other soft toys while their parents bought smiles for cheap in the games and food section. The carnival was a welcome break for Anvek. It added some cheers to his otherwise sombre life as an undertaker of Simarita Kalance. The place was too dead to have dead people around and he spent his days in utter boredom. The carnival provided him with an opportunity to polish his sketching skills and earn him customers who walked away with a smile, a rarity in his usual profession.

Anvek soon spotted his first customer as a mother pulled her stubborn and plump daughter towards the isolated shack. He pulled out the pencil from his ear, pushed the point between his nails as he cleaned the dirt stuck in them and waited till his customers reached. He pulled out a toffee for the girl and his charm did wonders for the girl stopped huffing and puffing and quietly sat down on the seat. He eyed down on her double chin as the most prominent characteristic and started off pushing down quick strokes that would soon turn into something similar to the girl in front of him. She smiled on seeing the likeness to her, snatched the sketch and ran off. That’s when Anvek realized he had not seen the cute little ponytail that had sat on her. He crumpled the tenner he got and pushed it down his boot. He sipped his coffee as he waited for his next customer. In the next couple of hours he found himself busy only once as he sketched a Chinese immigrant You Lozh who worked at the quarries. You Lozh seemed tensed as he kept on glancing behind him towards the entrance as if he was waiting for someone. Anvek was in no mood to ask him to stay still, so he decided he would do a side profile. Lozh pushed in a tenner and hurried off to the limousine that had just entered the carnival grounds. The carnival lights glowed brighter as the sun descended for its siesta. A couple of boys dragged the retired colonel Krevitoz who seemed intoxicated by the fine wines flowing down Ms. Bordeauzes fountain and wanted to catch grab a sketch of his derriere so they could play “pin the donkey” on the sketch. Anvek grinned at their sadistic humour but a tenner was a tenner and the snobby colonel did deserve a good flogging. The colonel was too intoxicated to be sitting so they placed him on his stomach so Anvek could sketch the right things in right proportions. The dimming sunlight didn’t do Anvek any good for he had a terrible vision as night fell. He decided to stop at the neck and finish the rest the next day. The boys didn’t mind the missing head for they had what they wanted.

As they dragged the colonel away, a scream pierced through the entire fair and everything grinded to a halt. Little Bo had her ponytail stuck in the greased chained gears of the Ferris wheel and was crying at the top of her voice. Samuel the butcher came by and chopped off her ponytail to set her free from the agony and the pain. With a freaky accident like that, everyone decided to call it the day. Next day morning, the carnival was being packed up and Sheriff Baynes oversaw the entire operation. A carnival did lead to a lot of rubbish and Baynes had to make sure it all was cleaned up. He spotted someone far off lying in the mud near the well and figured it was one of the drunkards who were still under a hangover from last night. As he walked towards the well, his walkie talkie crackled alive. “Captain Germaine reporting… Blast at quarry. I repeat. Blast at quarry. One casualty... Immigrant... Lost his right ear… Wanted ambulance... I repeat. Urgently required ambulance… Out…” Baynes tripped over a dusty coffee mug as he turned around to rush down to the quarry.

Perspective - Seeing things differently

Come May and the blog sees day!

Rather routine-like isn't it? Past four years of college life and since the inception of this blog, that’s how the dice been rolling. Did I just say - Past" four years of college life?! The rollercoaster ride has moved from to the next stage as I bid au revoir to another phase of my life - with ups and downs but I am still tethered to the ride screaming "Bring it on". Fun filled, Friends I made, the decisions I took, the challenges I faced, the triumphs and the defeats all now pages of some book at the back of my head. No doubt, years down the line, every time I glance down memory lane, am sure it will fill with youthful exuberance yackety yak yak. No time to be philosophical now. This might be my last care free vacation in life except when I finally retire. It all falls into perspective and how differently you see everything. An optimist's perspective, a pessimist's perspective, a kid's perspective, an adult's perspective, all different viewpoints to the same thing. [Note to myself: Check out Vantage Point- its all about perspectives]

Perspective is so dependent on time, space and numerous other factors for the same thing. As my train pulled away from Tiruchirappalli junction, it felt different. I have done this ride umpteenth number of times but this time was different. Somewhere in there, I knew, this might be the last time I would be doing it. Obviously, every time one does it, it can be the last time yet this time perspective changed. It’s all in the head. The special LAST TIMES at Octagon, Raju Anna, Meridien, Sangeethas, Room, Hostel, Sports centre, Bus No. 128 ride, and numerous other things. College life in itself. Banana Leaf Restaurant was also a last time in second year itself. But that’s a different last time, thanks to perspective.

Our view/perspective of people too can change thanks to the situation. Ever noticed how glad you feel when you see a sub continental (whether Bangladeshi, Pakistani, Indian or Sri Lankan) when you walk down the streets of Turkey or Belgium, but you don't care to give them a second glance if you were in the subcontinent itself. We are so proud when Kalpana Chawla goes to space, Mahendra Singh Dhoni carries aloft the Twenty 20 World Cup or Vijay Mallya brings back to India the sword of Tipu Sultan. Yet, when hundreds die in a riot, or a bridge collapses or those numerous other mishaps that litter the front pages of our daily newspaper, they are the UNKNOWNS. Hundreds of people die everyday and we skip the page, thousands die on a single day and we launch relief efforts. Why does humanity need a jolt or a shock to proceed into action? Why this inertia towards doing good? We all are busy with our lives and there is too much red tape. I guess that is an answer that most of us will pop up, even me. Every time there is a massive tragedy, billions are collected, even you and me give our bit to help the unfortunate by writing a cheque, money transfer or something similar yet we brush aside the poor kid that nags us all the way till our car to give a bit to keep himself alive. Giving away your hard earned cash is not easy, and it is brave of each one of us to even give away a cheque to these relief efforts. But is it money well spent? Does this money reach those who deserve it? Does our act of charity end with that signed cheque or should we do more? I bring out this question for only one reason. Till today, there is not one place where the scars of a tragedy have not been wiped out. Just because media doesn’t show it doesn’t mean alls well. Bhuj has seen cosmetic shake ups but when you hear that tents for people were being used by government babus as covers for their cars, I have serious doubts about the cash that you and I gave. Is there no way we can ascertain that our money has reached the rightful beneficiaries of our goodwill? Perspective?

Every once in a blue moon, one hears of geniuses, men who thought differently, had a different perspective to offer, saw things differently and made this world a better place. In these fast times, showers are what most of us get while we dream of tub baths where we can switch off and relax. Archimedes had other ideas in his bath tub and Eureka! A hungry Newton could have just picked up, polished and eaten the apple but he had other ideas. James Watt could have just drunk the steaming hot tea being prepared in the kettle to Robert Bruce just ignoring the spider that built and re built its web. They all could have seen it otherwise but fortunately they didn’t. Perspective again! Socrates and his lot were troubled, many others burnt at the stake because they thought otherwise. The Earth is not the centre of the Universe said some, the Indo-Arabic numerals with its zero were a better alternative to Roman numerals said others. Those who think differently have been branded weird, mad and crazy to heretics in human society. Even today, we may be more open to change yet somewhere in there; we still keep those who think differently away from us. Corporates spend millions on workshops titled “Creativity” and “Think Out of the Box” yet in our educational systems, students who are forced to be uniform in terms of their thinking and their answers. You cannot have 5 subjects where answers different from the textbook or notes are punished and then push in one subject where you extol students on the values of being imaginative and coming up with creative answers.

Its all perspective and how you see it – optical illusions in the real life?

I end with a bird's eye (make that a paraglider's) perspective of my home J - thanks to wikimapia which sure is a great tool to use – whether its Aditya coaxing all of us to use it and mark our places on the world map to showing my friends where I studied to where I stayed in my childhood days. For the uninitiated- Adil Centre is The building

Ps: Sprite- Dikhave par mat jao apni akal lagao J

Freakonomics @ NIT Trichy

Freakonomics
Don't let the title freak you out. I am sure lot of folks who have this subject have panned it as too mathematical and boring. Here is an award winning economist (Steven Levitt) who says the same, but shows us how economics can be made fun especially when applied on our day to day lives. The way he adds two plus two for issues brings out this whole new angle to life and everything we live for. He proves that the reason for the drop in crime rates in USA were because of a woman who fought for legalized abortion 20 years earlier, or how the Klu Klux Klan was brought down by a cartoon character, or what is safer- a gun in the house or the swimming pool. Numerous such weird yet trivial issues are explained in layman's terms and the way he uses data to his advantage is worth noting. Even if you aren't a big fan of data interpretation, this book makes for light reading and throws in a new perspective to looking at things. The book's only weak point is its small, leaving you thirsty for more.

More reviews here, here and here . The bottomline is they all say its a nice read :)

Freakonomics @ NITT

The best part about Freakonomics is that it is relevant to common man- that's you and me. So I decided to undertake an experiment into using Freakonomics tools to answer random questions regarding NITT.

There are two types of humans - those who eat to live and those who live to eat. Thanks to our messes, most of us have ended up in the former category. A major respite to this has been our gate culture thanks to the handful of dhabas.

As girls grow smarter (solely measured in terms of AIEEE numbers), these dhabas are dipping into red. The average intake of "girls" has increased in the past couple of years. These days, the fairer sex has grown bolder as they eat out at Dhaba on a regular basis, once thought to be solely a masculine domain. No doubt, this wind of change has dragged along a larger population of the male species and improved sales margins for our roadside annas (which is why the new price hike has been halted for the moment). But here lies the catch.

Dhaba clientele can be broken up into the usual male crowd that comes in no matter what and keeps the dhaba running. The profit percentages come from the new type of clientele i.e influenced by girls. Groups of girls are a commonplace at gate these days, so are couples and guys who have to stick along till 9 PM thanks to their commitments with girls in various aspects and hence are forced to eat at gate. As the skewed ratio reduces and coupling percentages (Fig. 1) go higher, there are more incidents that are waking up the moral guardians of this campus and in their hand; they have the most potent weapon of them all :- roll call. Hence if the roll call is shifted to eight or earlier, girls are totally ruled out at the gate, so are the couples. With roll call being at eight, all extra curricular activities would have a unanimous break at eight PM, allowing number of guys to make it to the mess at an appropriate time and not be left over with leftovers.

Figure 1

What's NITT without its cows? Did you know increase in number of cancelled classes is helping accelerate global warming? 10:10 break, midnight coffee breaks, late breakfasts - are various reasons why people can be found hounding BRU, Nescafe and similar outlets. But along with these come the unscheduled cancelled classes that leave students in a hitch of how to pass time till the next class. In 7 out of 10 situations, people found BRU to be the closest and cheapest place to be (data collected before BRU had contractual problems). We all thank the cows for being lovely garbage collectors as they eat every bit of paper, Styrofoam cups and what not in hope of grabbing something edible. But most of this is junk and when junk goes, it has to come out. With more junk getting in, more number of times junk has to get out forming minefields for humans but innocuously hiding a far greater danger. Due to anaerobic organisms such as Escherichia coli and methanogenic archaea, an average cow emits 600 litres of Methane per day! Thanks to the junk we give them, our NITT cows donate a few more litres each. As a greenhouse gas, the amount of heat methane can retain is 72 times that of same mass of Carbon Dioxide. Hence assuming 7 departments in CLC with 3 batches and each one has just one class cancelled in a week (on a lower side), and just 5 people grab something, and assuming each piece of junk to be of just 25g, you are generating 11 kilos of junk gobbled up by the cows each month. No doubt a small percentage when one considers the amount of junk we create due to other mentioned reasons but a staggering amount indeed.

If the above concepts seemed too abstract, let's take a simpler one where the facts just stare out at us. A trend you all must have noticed - the consistency of power cuts during cycle tests and semesters. The peak load estimated for the college is accounting for all fans and lights switched on plus 20 odd computers per hostel. Thanks to the proliferation of gadgets like coolers and refrigerators, we already are taxing these limits. Based on our sample data, 99% of the junta stayed back in hostels during exam time since extra curricular activities become zilch and the Chennai junta known to run home every weekend decides otherwise. Hence the entire hostel turned into a Las Vegas is just the tip. Leave alone the students who leave their computers on 24x7 throughout the year, based on studies conducted in Garnet hostel and normalizing this data for other hostels, an interesting pattern was noticed. There was a 100% increase in the activity of the non regular user who downloaded more and stayed live longer pushing our computer count by another 35 odd people (in final year hostels). The situation worsens with extremities of weather with coolers coming into play in summer and a larger number of "vetti" people who finally have the time to take a bath - a hot one.

Thats Freakonomics @ NITT for you and hats off to Mr. Steven Levitt for his creativity and out of the box thinking.

This piece will be published shortly as my guest contribution to Entrepeneurship Cell of NIT Trichy's magazine called Paisa Inc.

The Tenth Emotion

Continuing with my series of published articles, this was published in JAM Mag - India's youth magazine in their February 2008 edition.

"UNMAAD is about happiness - more passionate than anger, more life changing than serenity, more potent than courage, more wonder than magic. UNMAAD is the tenth emotion" - www.unmaad.com

My fest hopping craze this semester sent me to Bangalore during the first week of February to catch up on the tenth emotion as defined by IIM Bangalore- UNMAAD. Seven lakh prize money and a budget overheard to be around one crore, we had a lot of expectations from this fest.

A very gothic look unraveled this watering hole for managerial wonders of India as we landed at the campus in the wee hours of 1st February. An exam hall had been turned into a refugee camp for the early birds while the rest ended up in shamianas on the grass lawns, though the fairer sex given the obvious choice of hostels. With the accommodation matter completed, it was time to feel the vibe of the fest. The mess would serve as the first stop and for a change; we had no complaints with that. IIM or not, we soon realized we were still in India as the dramatics event began a couple of hours late due to technical snags.

NIT Trichy started off on a serious note with couple of monologues dealing with riots but it was SVCE Chennai that caught people's attention with their loose script that paid tribute to Scar face as the cast uttered the four letter expletive over forty times in the play along with other unprintable material. But it was a spectacular performance by Lady Shriram College from Delhi doing "Tara" a Mahesh Dattani play that not only won the coveted prize but also won a number of admirers from the audience including the role of the bugging female whose job was to get on everyone's nerves in a cute way.

By the end of the dramatics event, it was mid day and one would expect UNMAAD to be bustling with life but it wasn't so. Day One pretty much seemed like it was day zero in other fests as tents were being put up, stalls were still getting set up and they was barely enough crowd which even the PETA guys would agree too though the INOX female seemed to be attracting a bit of a crowd with her heavy accent and goodies. This was when I could grab a moment with the guy at the JAM stall and hence the picture to show you that JAM was there.

Meanwhile prelims for Mr. and Ms. UNMAAD were on and the questionnaire did set people thinking. Here are a few for you (hopefully am not infringing any copyright violations) :

1) Who would rather kiss - a crocodile or a bear and why?
2) You could take three things with you to a deserted island. They would be?
3) What would you do if you were invisible for a day?
4) What is the one crime you would commit if you wouldn't be caught for it?

Got any whacky answers for these? We'd sure love to hear them. The highlight of the day would no doubt be the "B School of Rock" concert with our "chethas" from Motherjane and the renowned Zero performing to an audience that understood that the truest form of respect to such artistes is to head bang to them. I wouldn't say the atmosphere was electric, but the crowds loved every bit of it and both bands lived upto their reputations especially when they played a few regular covers that every novice rock fan could also join in. The sun may have set but that's when you realize life at IIM begins at night as people gathered around for AMROCK- the upstart band showdown and the enthusiasm from the rock show spilt over especially with people high on spirits.

Low profile compared to the undergraduate festivals I have seen but the money pulled in by corporate sources had been well spent and the whole festival had a larger than life image around it.



Day 2 and Day 3

Rise and shine and all the literary event prelims had begun along with numerous other events. I was woken up by couple of damsels dressed in the Ms. Unmaad T-shirt wondering if I could help them with their scavenger hunt. I so wish I could have but as luck could have it, I travel light on trips. Turns out they had numerous odd tasks like finding a Pizza Corner menu, Bacardi Breezer bottle to selling their own paintings for over INR 100. While the guys and girls in white ran around the campus looking for odds and ends, the street play had begun in one of the central lawns. Here again, it was the Delhi colleges that stole the thunder though there were a couple of good performances by local colleges including JNC, Bangalore.

Along the lines of street play was the movie spoof and this was one of the biggest crowd pulling event after the pro shows. IIM B had their fundae right as they won second place with a very witty script that got the audience thinking before they got the jokes. The winning college from Pune, BBUCOE won the coveted first place with their take on "Kabhi Goli Kabhi Bum" which was hilariously in your face funny and evoked the most laughter amongst the audience. Though the critic of the day award should go to the cute kid next to me who on seeing a banner on stage "Bakwaas Productions presents" quipped "Bakwaas hai to dikha kyu rahe hai?" had even the judges sniggering on that one.

Intermittent with the two dramatics events were the corporate events including mad ads that had working professionals forget their work for a day and get into the college mode and kudos to them for showing more enthusiasm than the students around them as they joked and made merry throughout the event especially during the twenty minute wait before the results were announced where the teams pulled each others legs in a jovial manner till the scorers returned.

The Western Acoustics/ A capella competition is a novelty as very few festivals around India seem to have this event where you do get to hear lot of interesting music. While WASABI stood apart with their performance and uniform, it was Christ College's own composition 'All I got' with its fusion touch that really bowled me over and am guessing the same with the judges who handed them the first place.

The dance workshop was another crowd puller as individual entries were allowed and Cupid wanted some action. Girls were asked to remove one shoe into a pile so the guys could pick them up and get automatically paired. The rush to get the fairest ladies' shoes would have put our politicians fighting for seats to shame. A comic relief for the audience as pairs of left feet landed on the dance floor, the end of the dance workshop saw couples strutting around with confidence and a glow of a job well done.

Soon the sun descended implying the start of a new day at IIM as the campus had people pouring in for the Unity concert featuring Pakistani band Strings and Indian band Mrigya. Strings lived up to its reputation and added some entertainment when they batted away a few autographed balls into the audience. Unfortunately for me, they aren't too good with slogging towards deep mid wicket. But it just wasn't Mrigya's day as most people started heading off since their music was floating throughout the campus and their onstage presence didn't seem to capture the audience unlike Strings. Karaoke night was the midnight warm up as random people could go up and sing from the list of songs available along with their lyrics. The real party started soon with the War of the DJs which turned the courtyard into an instant dance floor as crowds poured in to dance the night away. Few folks in highly debilitated state provided comic relief with their dance steps but took it a step forward with their mouth to mouth contact raising a lot of "yewwss" around them. Time flew by and it was early morning when the organizers decided to call it a night. The Final day was packed with the grandiose events like choreo, freestyle and the fashion show. A wonderful display of synchronization and color along with beauty saw charming ladies and handsome hunks steal the thunder along with foot tapping music keeping the audience on its toes.

UNMAAD wasn't as big as the hype surrounding it, but it was one huge blast where you seemed to see familiar faces within a day or two and felt pretty homely amongst the bold, the brainy and the beautiful. A thumbs up to this event though I'd expect to see more than the 700 plus competitors who turned up this time.

The White Hats are coming...

While I slog away for the next edition of Vortex as Chairman, I found my contribution to the souvenir in Vortex 2006. The theme that year was Information Security. The best part about this poem is I wrote it during my lab commented between my code

In a world of ones and zeroes,
There always exist a set of anti-heroes.
Hacking, cracking, spoofing and other heinous crimes
Information security is worth spending all your dimes.

The Digital world ain't about good and bad,
Its being smart enough to realise security isnt a fad.
The Black Hats are swarming the networks
Every node and packet, danger lurks.

Masters of Deception, Cult of the dead cow and Legion of Doom,
Names like that don't leave much to assume.
Considered as elite hacking forces,
No one said, "e-life is a bed of roses".

Viruses, Trojans, back doors seemingly disappeared
IDS is something script kiddies have always feared.
Quantum Cryptography keeps you securely wired,
Cryptanalysis experts are hands down tired.

Hexes and crux wont win you over time
Just so I can go about with my humble rhyme
"CIA" forms the basis of Information Security-
Confidentiality, Integrity and Availability.

Information Security may come at a cost
Crime may get sophisticated, but all isnt lost.
Shibboleth, Kerberos, TRANSEC emphasize security
The search is on to prevent computers' infidelity.

Like yin and yang, there remains a balance
The call of the White Hats is open to display your talents.

*A white hat hacker is, in the realm of information technology, a person who is ethically opposed to the abuse of computer systems.

Planet of the Bovines

This I guess would be my last article for the college fest newsletter PIRATE RADIO. After a couple of reviews from people, a warning to all readers - read it twice because there is a deeper and lighter meaning to all thats written down here

Star Date -315160.06
Starship Welltr

Continuing on our quest to go where no Klingonian has gone before, we have reached a planetary system around this huge blob of glowing fire like substance. Lt. Comman-Deer Sawh Wrong, a product of Institute of Intergalactic Travel, believes his scanners have sensed the possibility of life on the sixth major rock in this system, just two away from the glowing blob. Sensing adventure, we have sent Kaapitan Kuhl Kahl along with a team down to this rock.

Star Date -315132.45
Tai-Chi

Kaapitan Kuhl Kahl has reklingonised his galaxy as the Milky Way (continuing with his fetish for white). Following is the report the Synthesizer beamed up from its landing spot.

------ Compact Extra-Terrestrial Extractor and Space Archive Translator ----

Place of origin: Tai - Chi
Types of Life Forms: 2500 and counting

Based on what we have seen, there are basically two types of life forms civilized and uncivilized. We have decided to focus our observations on the civilized life forms.

They have a rigid hierarchy and no one steps out of the line, yet they seem to thrive in unity and collective responsibility. Agriculture seems to be the main occupation and they have forms of mechanization and domesticated animals. The high society seems to be loitering around, keeping an eye on things and tasting the produce, while the domesticated livestock is used for digging holes, operating mechanized thrashers and numerous other devices we cannot relate to. But they have a set pattern are herded into watering holes three times a day, kept locked up in this humongous shed like structures as night falls and pushed back to work next day morning. We have also noticed a system of taxation as these livestock give a part of their daily produce to their four legged masters and otherwise tend to stay away from their sight. A sense of fear can be felt amongst the livestock as they always keep the right of passage to their masters whenever such a situation arises. This reminds us of the era of the great Jupiter Scissors and his empire that had the citizens living life of gay abandon and the workers treated like animals.
------------------------------------- ----------------------------- --------------------------------

"Beam me up Scottie, Beam me up Scottie .. noooooo"

Star Date -313132.45
Starship Arbitra

Majora Semma has barely recovered from the shock after the patrol under KKK was brutally attacked by the soldiers of the regime. These trained warriors have been genetically modified to have the ability to grow sharp weapons that can penetrate through Klingon skin. We unfortunately lost all other documentation as the brutal dictatorship disallows freedom of press and had their team from censor board remove all trace of any documentation our synthesizer printed, and a similar case with the synthesizer itself.

Maybe this dictatorial brutality arises from the need to keep the two legged livestock in check. Note to HQ: The Brutal Bovines will be a force to reckon with soon on the intergalactic highway.

[Background score: Rhythm Bovine]

- NITTWIT

* This article is a very NITT-centric article