Sunday, November 20, 2011

The Attack of the Kolaveri Getting Boys



We wear cool shades
We wear shiny pants
We’re the Kolaveri getting Boys
Oh yeah di
We’re the Kolaveri getting Boys
We’re simmering hot, we’re smart
We’re very very kaalaku
We’re the Kolaveri getting Boys
Oh yeah
We’re the Kolaveri getting Boys
We do Rajni moves
and we do soup songs
We do kadalai putting
We do all that can move
Oooo, ooo, ooo, hoooo
Cos We’re the Kolaveri getting Boys
Oh yeah
We’re the Kolaveri getting Boys
Na na na
We’re the Kolaveri getting Boys
Oh yeah
We’re the Kolaveri getting Boys

For those wondering what kolaveri means : it boils down to "murderous look" . The "Why this kolavari di" viral got me reminded of the set of boys who used to head down to our college for the cultural festivals and try to get noticed. They did succeed in getting noticed, but probably not in the manner they expected and especially not the "kolaveri" look they got. 


The original :

Monday, May 23, 2011

An Ignominious Silence



"One step for man, a giant leap... honks", Vaishali was up to here with this insane traffic. Man had reached the moon 40 years ago and yet reaching home in Bangalore traffic seemed a bigger challenge. As she finally pulled into the dark alley that led up to her colony, she had a curse lingering on her lips till she saw Mrs. Pathiawala's balcony light switched on. Last thing she wanted was a power cut after a long day at work. She knew man had survived without electricity for centuries but she was in no mood to relive history. She quietly latched the door behind her, slipped into her comfy flip flops and went round to check if all the windows were latched and bolted. As she finally walked towards the bedroom, she saw Rithvik grinning at her. She loved his grin. He made her smile anytime and every time, whether it was a bad day at work, an off day in their relationship, just about every time and she loved him for that. She tugged at his shirt and crossed out every polka dot on it with her little finger as she told him how her day had been. The demon of a manager Mrs. Khurana! “Vaishu, I liked the numbers on your previous report but you know how it is in the firm. Clients want perfection. Can you go through the reports once more and ensure you can pick up about 2-3 salient wins with this strategy. Anyways, it’s a Thursday night, am sure am not encroaching on any party plans you might have. Mr. Goenka would be in tomorrow by 8 AM so it would be great if I had the report by 5 AM.” I so want to go to her place at four thirty in the morning and throw that report at her face.

Chuck that, am sure you are bored with my cribbing even though you never say so. Why are you so nice to me? Why don’t you ever tell me your worries? Grinning away like an yyidiot all the time. I can’t even get angry at you for that reason. Suddenly she picked up a taunting tone, does someone remember that tomorrow is our anniversary? No buddhu! Not when you proposed. When we first met at the college canteen and you created a laugh riot of that “tomotto” soup! Komodo Dragon’s piss and what not! I knew you’d forget. It’s these small things that count for a girl and yes, I am proud of the fact I am a girl and we enjoy such small details! So don’t you pucker up your lips boy. Those lips are meant for better things. No no! I meant like smile, nothing else crossed my head. Boys will be boys I say. But I love you for that. She slowly wrestled with the top button of his shirt setting it to freedom. Sigh! This shirt sure must be missing out on its heyday. You wore it to almost every date in the last semester of college thinking every girl on every other table would make a beeline for you. You looked ridiculously cute in that and I can assure you it’s verified inside information. Stop gloating now. That potbelly ain’t gonna win you any more glances.

So focus, eyes on me. Vaishali stared deeper into his eyes looking for a glimmer of reassurance as the final button came undone. She moved closer as her eyes widened up. You still love me yaah? Her voice started cracking up and the note a touch higher. Why?! Why?! Why?! The silence is petrifying. Say something please. The silence - it shatters my heart, pricks my ears, envelops my tears. Have you no heart?
Say you hate me… say you love me… Promises are not meant to be broken! Goddamnit! Say something ... Vaishali stomped away to the bedroom banging the door behind her. A muffled thud followed. The garland across Col. Rithvik's photo had fallen onto the unbuttoned shirt lying on the floor.