Planet of the Bovines

This I guess would be my last article for the college fest newsletter PIRATE RADIO. After a couple of reviews from people, a warning to all readers - read it twice because there is a deeper and lighter meaning to all thats written down here

Star Date -315160.06
Starship Welltr

Continuing on our quest to go where no Klingonian has gone before, we have reached a planetary system around this huge blob of glowing fire like substance. Lt. Comman-Deer Sawh Wrong, a product of Institute of Intergalactic Travel, believes his scanners have sensed the possibility of life on the sixth major rock in this system, just two away from the glowing blob. Sensing adventure, we have sent Kaapitan Kuhl Kahl along with a team down to this rock.

Star Date -315132.45
Tai-Chi

Kaapitan Kuhl Kahl has reklingonised his galaxy as the Milky Way (continuing with his fetish for white). Following is the report the Synthesizer beamed up from its landing spot.

------ Compact Extra-Terrestrial Extractor and Space Archive Translator ----

Place of origin: Tai - Chi
Types of Life Forms: 2500 and counting

Based on what we have seen, there are basically two types of life forms civilized and uncivilized. We have decided to focus our observations on the civilized life forms.

They have a rigid hierarchy and no one steps out of the line, yet they seem to thrive in unity and collective responsibility. Agriculture seems to be the main occupation and they have forms of mechanization and domesticated animals. The high society seems to be loitering around, keeping an eye on things and tasting the produce, while the domesticated livestock is used for digging holes, operating mechanized thrashers and numerous other devices we cannot relate to. But they have a set pattern are herded into watering holes three times a day, kept locked up in this humongous shed like structures as night falls and pushed back to work next day morning. We have also noticed a system of taxation as these livestock give a part of their daily produce to their four legged masters and otherwise tend to stay away from their sight. A sense of fear can be felt amongst the livestock as they always keep the right of passage to their masters whenever such a situation arises. This reminds us of the era of the great Jupiter Scissors and his empire that had the citizens living life of gay abandon and the workers treated like animals.
------------------------------------- ----------------------------- --------------------------------

"Beam me up Scottie, Beam me up Scottie .. noooooo"

Star Date -313132.45
Starship Arbitra

Majora Semma has barely recovered from the shock after the patrol under KKK was brutally attacked by the soldiers of the regime. These trained warriors have been genetically modified to have the ability to grow sharp weapons that can penetrate through Klingon skin. We unfortunately lost all other documentation as the brutal dictatorship disallows freedom of press and had their team from censor board remove all trace of any documentation our synthesizer printed, and a similar case with the synthesizer itself.

Maybe this dictatorial brutality arises from the need to keep the two legged livestock in check. Note to HQ: The Brutal Bovines will be a force to reckon with soon on the intergalactic highway.

[Background score: Rhythm Bovine]

- NITTWIT

* This article is a very NITT-centric article