Food Bites – A Hitch hikers guide to the Milky Way Restaurant

The entrance looks like a disco or a shady motel

Having finished with Mrs Vadelal’s kitty party at La Resort International, Ursa Aurora and I decided to check out Shrewd Man and Shahking’s latest themed restaurant titled “Milky Way” that promises an out of the world experience. The first thing you notice about the décor is its “Avatar”ish feel with glow-as-you-step paths, neon-lit fibre trees and the gurgling of springs pierced by the cries of Pterosaurs adding to the ambience. The entrance would have you confused for a disco or a seedy motel for a few minutes but gets better once you step in.  Planet shaped lamps are a nice touch though people above six feet might have to play the role of Hunchback of Notre Dame to perfection here.

Our gastronaut (the waiters here clearly go by a fancier job description) ushers my partner to her seat, while I decide to visit the washroom. It is tough to miss it with motorised owls hooting atop a wooden sign glowing with the words “Nature Calls” towards one corner. I had half expected to see a board saying “Where No Man has gone before” but a plain Louboutin helped me choose the right door.

Back to the table and my partner is already scanning the menu on the touch screens placed in front of each seat. The drinks menu is pretty exotic and you have varying quantities from test tube size to Titanic. Having picked 2 cocktails under the Titanic category, I decided to go for the Bermuda Triangles as starters while my partner was in the mood for south Indian cuisine and picked a plate of UFOs which came in real quick with chutney and sambhar saucers.  Cute!

Our gastronaut soon walked in with tall glasses for our cocktails but I was in for a shock when he placed it on the table. 3/4th of the space was taken by a huge ice block shaped as an iceberg and a couple of sips later; I had downed my entire cocktail. While the drink was great, the quantity makes me sink its rating to the level of the actual Titanic.

Cutlery could have been more imaginative

If it wasn’t any worse, my Bermuda Triangles turned out to be samosas with no filling. I should have been suspicious when the calorie count on the dish was abnormally low. Main course had a variety of eccentric dishes including the peace meal which consisted of coffee (ko’fi) and naan (a type of Indian bread) supposedly pretty popular in Central Pangaea. Steering away to the conventional in this highly unconventional menu, I picked the Spockghetti with Picardy sauce while my partner decided to stick to South Indian with the Na’avi dosa (dosa made with blue batter with handful of herbs and spices for additional flavouring). Clearly you needed to thank your stars to get the dishes right here. Having asked the gastronaut to pack the left overs of my spockghetti in a kling-on wrapper for my hubby, I decided to utilise my calories credit in the dessert section. It was a tough one between “Chand ka tukda” and Orion Milkshake, while my partner picked the Chef’s special of “Chewbaklawa” and true to its name; we made intelligible conversation while her tongue wrestled with the dessert.

After having successfully completed this meal with a drink, a starter, main course and dessert each, I read the bill twice to make sure I had counted the right number of zeros. Guaranteeing me an out of the world experience didn’t have to include astronomical prices and there was no way I’d find the mint wrapping called “Apollo 11” cute or funny after the exorbitant prices. Though seemingly out of place is the service charge at a fixed rate of 42 bucks.

We decided to touch base with these IIM-C (Institute of Intelligent Marketing Chefs) grads to understand what were the reasons and the concepts behind leaving their foreign MNC postings to start a chain of restaurants back home.

“We conducted a study in the market and there was a niche target segment for our offering. The central talking point of all treats (conservatively speaking) is how high the bill was. Also in a world where we want more than we need, 400+ channels for the price of 200, buy 2 shirts and get 11 free, we figured by reducing quantities, customers would get a chance to taste more varieties. After all, Customer is King. So taking these two factors into due consideration, we charge astronomical prices and have reduced our quantities in each serving.”

Clearly we weren’t the target audience for this place. So if you are Jason or any of the Argonauts, head to the Milky Way for the royal fleece.

Signing off,
Epi Kurian.