Sweet Child o' mine

"Blog my baaaaby on your desktop
wheeen the work grows, the writing will stop
Down will come baby, updates and all..."

[music fades out]

Used to have a similar worded poem in nursery, I guess, though don't remember the wordings :). I know this place has been real silent, and nope, it ain't the silence before the storm, its plain silence. That very "pin drop" silence every teacher aims to attain in her class, but that theory may be possible in theory, real life, like every other science, there is nothing ideal in this real world. "Why" I am busy is one of those mundane things which I fear will make Isaac Asimov's dream come true with a corollary- yup, robots will take over the world, but in the corollary- these robots would be human. And frankly, that’s what is happening. Blame it on the Indian education system, blame it on our own laziness to try things differently, if not do different things, but this world is heading to BOREDOM, the biggest evil since Terrorism. That's why I detest from writing what’s up with me in my blog. You know those types, I got up at 12 today, breakfast was the usual cereal bowl as I caught the news before the school bus came and I had to run for it... Blah blah... Routine!! A flowchart, a static algorithm that works day in and day out.

Humans! from Gods' [ the apostrophe is VERY controversial, I know!!! ] own factory, mass produced with equation based on time so no batch is similar, unless of course once in a while , battery runs out and by the time "Almighty" changes, twins are born.

Back in school, had some African laureate write a poem - a father teaching his son the ways of the grown ups. The many faces you have to carry along- happy face, party face, office face etc. How a smile could actually look like a snake baring its fangs, or how good bye meant hope to not see u again. How life was as simple as computers where "what you see is what you get" or "WYSIWYG" for the technically inclined.

I was 18, I thought, “is this how you feel grown up?” having broken past the legal limit of adolescence. Then again, I had just got out of school and looking bewildered. School life was competitive but in the real world, it was nothing. All the so called politics in school was mere Childs play. That was when I entered college, and realized school was no example of the real world. 2 years down the line in college, and as I enter the corporate world, suddenly college seems like such a secure zone. Morale of the story: - The seriousness of your present worries is inversely proportional to the time frame from it. You'll just laugh at them in a few years time while you contemplate new so called worries. Again, mechanical cycle of life. It is a fixed routine.

What actually sparked this all was watching “Fanaa” last night :). Boring love story some may call, but I have stopped watching movies from a spectator's point of view. It gets more interesting when you try to be a part of the scene or sit from a director's point of view. Then you'd realize the true worth of the movie or maybe that’s what is called critic's point of view. There was this particular scene when this kid coerces Aamir to drink the "Haldi" milk and tells him drinking it is the only option, since other escape routes have been tried and tested. Throughout the movie, the director uses this kid to show the stark reality, frankness which none of the senior actors in their roles were allowed to do.

An easier example can be Emperor's new clothes - a small story we had as kids. It was on how two goons fool the king into believing that the cloth they have can be seen only by smart people or something, and no one wanting to act dumb said they could see it. It was a small kid who opened his mouth to tell the truth. What is it that they have that we don't???

Innocence – That is one thing that money can’t buy. Love- yes! Well, love for money itself is a type of love. But innocence in the sense I am talking about, cannot be bought. The day you know the meaning of innocence- you have lost it. That is why, we love kids, and they have this quality none of us have, though we all cherish it. This is the true fountain of youth, not mere physical grace that man is in search of.

We cherish our friendships from when we were kids with guys and girls alike. Again because it was innocent friendship. It is seemingly so tough for that these days, because every time you meet someone, the thought on everyone’s mind is “Is this the one?”, if it sours a bit, then they become friends but the first thing is will she/ he? Or if a friendship progresses well, the same question pops up, is this the one! Expectations increase and stark critical eye comes into focus and the friendship also sours in the process.

I used to laugh at the concepts I used to hear on TV, only to realize these things happen in real life. Fact is truly stranger than fiction. When people talk of the beauty within, not the exterior, they aren’t talking about your physical and mental beauty, they want to see the real you with the red tape of society that has bounded you.

My birthday gift? I ask – “GIVE ME BACK MY INNOCENCE!!!” World was much more colourful in black and white than in grey.

Another Brick in the Wall

“So, Shah, what plans after BTech?” well... I am planning to write CAT, but now have reservations about it [pun intended]… Thanks to a man known as Arjun Singh, out to win his party another term in power, thanks to so called minority of OBCs. I doubt they are minority, otherwise vote bank politics wouldn’t be such a big issue. The census of India says they are 200,000,000 of that category approximately. On the same note is the medical college scenario!!! These are those men and women, on whom our lives will depend! How can someone who isn’t cut out to be a doctor be made one. Unless of course, this all is a scheme of bigger things. A free mason society in India itself!!! It makes sense. You have poster boy politicians who take the two bit fame and couple of thousand of votes. 50% seats go to people just because they are of a particular caste. God knows how many years he gets to complete the course, out of pity, teachers send him out to become Munnabhai MBBS in real life. Hundreds of such official quarks will help reduce India’s overpopulation problem! The Free Mason society strikes again : ) A meticulous plan to make India a superpower. Thank God, no one thought of doing a Genghis Khan repeat. Seems that guy slept with enough women to make most of us blood relatives. What’s that for Arjun Singh and his cronies? They’d just land up in foreign hospitals where doctors are made of true academic prowess.

Ridiculous! All the freedom rights we speak of equate everyone equal status. If reservation was for the majority open quota people- it would have been racism against OBCs etc, but the present scenario is supposed to be righteous to undo the wrong of centuries. Life truly is taking the form of a sine wave then. If sympathy runs out heavy on us, the opposition will take our cause, if we translate to votes. By the way, youth of today represents approx. 35% [statistics from Census India again], counts a lot for your vote bank, then again we can’t vote till we become 18. So it falls to deaf ears, doesn’t it?

OBCs where shunted out of the limelight 50 years ago, so the rest should be shunted for the next 50? Eye for an eye and the whole world goes blind. [Note: No wonder China isn’t worried about competition from us, we have something called democracy as defined in hindi would be “apne pairo par khulhadi maarna” which they are happy without]

Medical students treated like dogs in Mumbai, Doctors threatened with their jobs? The goons that run our political circus are on a roll. This event has finally put them into natural light, all the political jargon has got them off guard. I have a suggestion! Why give concessions at each step, relaying back to the same point that they suffered. I say, why not give them doctorates directing in their chosen fields. They get the degrees, you get their votes, those who want to study can do so, and we all live happily in our utopia. What say Arjun Singh?

I remember NRI quota was stopped because they couldn’t cope with the course, I say why don’t you give them concessions too! They too due to external factors are not able to get the type of education youth of India get to prepare for graduate and undergraduate programs. Even they have cash like the OBCs who are going to benefit from this actually.

Lok Paritran has the perfect opportunity to take lead in this case and please clean up our politics from such STUPIDITY where logic loses to VOTES!!! And aren’t we to blame, because a true democracy, we voted for these people!!!!

PS. Does Jainism- a minority get a slice of this reservation cake, then I’d have 2^nd thoughts ;-)

Que Sera Sera, Whatever ‘ll be will be

What will the future bring onto me?

A OBC you are, my son

Relax, just have fun.

We are very important political tool

Politika from both sides need us to rule

Our ancestors had suffered a lot

So with sympathy, wealth is what we got.

Munnabhai MBBS, you can be now

Playing carom, you needn’t know how

Education and wealth is taken care

Next step: politics- sounds very fair.

We are our very own lottery ticket

Next stop- reservation in cricket!!!

The British left us ages ago

Their divide & rule policy, we are yet to forego

Politics may cut the country down

May the youth of India paint red the town!!

Stand united, heed fellow friends

Its time to stamp our own trends

Yuva or Rang De Basanti your inspiration

Towards success, Combine thy blood and perspiration!!!

20,000 Leagues above the sea

Sorry Jules Verne, and no song with that name, incase you were looking for a link. 12^th May? Whats so special apart from the fact Steve Palframan was born- that south African wicket keeper in WC ’96. Rest, just check wikipedia for the day that was…

I remember those Toastmaster speeches were we had this formal intro, body, conclusion part which everyone followed Hitler Style. The fad was start off like a horror story- 31^st February, 1985- it was a dark moonless night…. N through the silence, a cry shattered it all. A baby girl/ boy was born and that was me… By the time my turn came in to speak, everyone had used this funda till it was as ragged as Ali Haider’s purani jeans. Keeping up with my “expect the unexpected “ reputation, I started off the same way, and watched people waiting to yawn. They had taken the bait, mind going into switch off mode. And then, “… a girl was born.” Eyes popped open, yawns stifled… Did shah have a sex change? Unfortunately, tabloids never give you full satisfaction, that intro was for my sister. N brought the speech back on track. The thrill you get outta surprising people keeps you speaking.

Anyways, so 12^th may 2006, celebrating a score of my life, and not THE score. I am still a part of the infamous V gang. My birthday present- a trip back home after a year!!! Good enough. With a gang waiting at the doorsteps of hostel waiting to kickstart my trip back home, with small luxurious breaks to my rear each time the mobile rang. I was off for home. Then again, who gets to celebrate their birthdays in 4 countries, get 2.5 hours extra thanks to time zone difference and at 35,000 feet in the air? [Note: I wasn’t collecting kurkure packets for this. .]

If I was born a day earlier, I’d have ended up as an eccentric genius, following the footsteps of Richard Feynman and Salvador Dali.. India celebrating Pokhran tests or Apache Indian rocking away in the baby crib.

For company, I had the life story of Opal Mehta has Kaavya V. tries to get her to Harvard with success. Home sweet home, pizza from Pizza Hut awaits me J plus a yummy black forest cake.. My day has been made!!! I had forgotten that cakes can have such rich icing, and can actually melt in your mouth.

But I had got my best birthday present – A trip back home J

PS: Last time’s present was my last ever chemistry exam in my life. My chemistry with that subject is another long story shared by millions.

It comes once in a year

Atleast it works out your rear

One a, two a , blow after blow

Sets it red as if aglow.

A year more mature am I

A year less for me to die

Whichever way the glass is full

Having fun is the basic rule.

So enjoy the day while you can

Cakes and pastries don’t earn a ban

It doesn’t happen on every birthday of mine

That I am literarily upon cloud no. 9

The 2 and half hours were extra bonus

Sadly, the immigrations didn’t take the onus.

Made me a ping pong ball in the queue

Ended up doing rounds, quite a few.

Finally I set foot in Bahraini Soil

The coolness of ac making my blood boil.

To be back home on such a day

Grateful to the lord for 12^th May!!!

When Love and Hate Collide

The third semester marked a new beginning for many. It was the adrenaline rush of entering department after having common classes for first year. Lot of us decided to get our socks pulled up now that we had entered department and a sense of belonging would develop, as we had seen the final year senti. But, being the first proper AIEEE batch meant the department had different things in mind for us. Behold readers! The skeleton outlines of Zero Point Everyone (What not to do at CSE, NIT Trichy). Zooming back to the past, the department lived up to its reputation of being cool. 3 half days in a week!!! This was party time, and over that so many cancelled classes. Dream comes true. Then came the academics, bad acoustics was the reason given for not being able to hear our teachers, we took it in stride. Having done a basic programming in c course in first year with the most complicated program being finding inverse of matrix, we suddenly end up making 3 games using graphics in C for the first week! Our seniors look wonderstruck at the level of our programs; teachers say it’s the same thing she has been giving for the past few years. Seniors say otherwise. After all, these are the people with experience, and we are mere students, we remain mum and continue. How tough is it for someone to forget to switch off their mobile? Not very; and isolated events should be forgotten. Nope, it just turned out to prove we have descended from apes (Heard that before, was it Darwin??) or right from the horse’s mouth: “Your parents sent you here as humans, what has changed you to animals. What will I tell your parents? Even the jungles are more orderly.” {NOTE: During this specific class, there was a crow orchestra outside while a dog snoozed off in the back row of class] He is the experienced revered soul, so we sit mum and continue. Then someone hears a roll number wrong, we are accused of giving proxies! [BTW, The number @ the centre of the controversy was 420] We sit mum and continue. It’s like Murphy was watching us and having his laughs. I guess all those who think Murphy is God are lapping this up. Some blame this on one person’s idiosyncrasies (Onki, am borrowing your description of him). But Murphy was watching us sitting mum and continuing. Then, how would you feel if you go for a class and your sir has a written script from a textbook and even better, he states the fact that “Don’t ask me any doubts, refer the textbook, its clearly mentioned.” Later on, he goes on record to say, “Write all the steps for the sum, but no step marks, and if you don’t write all the steps, no marks.” It sounds like George Bush has competition for the ‘Foot in the mouth’ award. Then again, fuzzy logic is this dude’s specialty. While we have funky programs that have other college compsceez ask us if we are in the same year as them, to binary state marks, it was rock and roll for us. I scored 2.5 in ECD, 1^st ct. I was the 5^th highest in class!! Class average was 0.65. 2^nd ct, class average was 2. Then again, we were beyond his expectations, “we drew Shakeela while he wanted Aishwarya Rai”. He promised 50% supplies, he kept his promise along with pure Tamil expletives that I am better off not uttering.

And so did many more of the faculty to give unprecedented 100 supplies to one class in one Sem, just because we were AIEEE batch, knew too much and were acting as we knew that we knew too much. Sounds one sided. Don’t students get to voice their opinions in this place? Oh yes, our college has a forum for that. It’s called class committee meeting, where faculty and student reps meet up and have a positive discussion on how to improve under the able mediatorship of the chair. We had such a meeting, the mediator was absent. The student representatives were handpicked by the faculty and these 9 sacrificial lambs faced the music while they sat mum and continued. Yes, we had some people who threw tantrums; they apologized but why generalize the punishment on everyone. Why refuse to give us a chance when we had forced ourselves to realize our mistakes that no one was ready to pinpoint. Everyone said we were the worst, but how, why? No one knew the path to redemption. One professor felt 20 names of miscreants were enough to sail everyone else true. But under hardships is unity best upheld, and no compsceez would get their brethren into the deep for no fault of theirs. We kept mum and continued, while different departments lambasted our non-existent egos. The winter of 2005 has ended leaving us out cold with 100 supplies and this summer, while we watch our hostels empty out, we compsceez sit back clearing our backs knowing that the world aint fair but at least through hardships, we seal the bonds of friendship. Here is to the class of 2008, NIT Trichy. Come what evil, I’ll be there for you… (Except becoming class rep for another SEM)

Having entered the dept. outta the blue,

What the future held, we had no clue.

Here we were sitting in the coolest dept of them all

Didn’t know others pride led to our fall.

Text editors, window swappers, games and a lot more

Someone up there wanted us screwed hardcore.

Exam papers with arbid marking schemes

Landed you with binary digits even after writing reams.

Being the first proper AIEEE batch now seemed a taboo

We were this close to expulsion too.

Mass failure, transfer into another institute was on the plate,

Year backs or to companies, about us they would berate.

Only we straightened up, would life go well

But what went wrong, none would tell.

Off the record, we hadn’t misbehaved said each

But we must be rotten coz of the thoughts of others who teach.

What was the reason for the dormant volcanoes to erupt?

Out of the blue, all so abrupt?

Is it the high flying placements students enjoy?

Or the fact students these days are no longer coy?

Answers that will remain unanswered

Coz we know it all, AIEEE inferred.

The answer to what went wrong this BLACK Sem,

All I can say, is no one knows, not even them…

Bittersweet Symphony

Vivek, Immm-possible, you never had a girlfriend? Aren’t you the guy everyone calls Casanova?

Yes, déjà vu… Been there heard that. Get that stuff loads of time. Yes! I am celebrating 20 years of freedom! That’s one thing my experience as a cupid for friends has taught me. Then again every astrologer or saintly person I end up seeing on my India visits have this thing about me being successful and the next sentence saying, beware of girls!!!! God knows if that’s the else clause of an ‘if’ statement, but lets leave out the technicalities. Yes, so why doesn’t Shah have a girl? He is tall, he is dark, he is …. Nah, still have to work on the handsome partJ, but satisfy 2/3^rd of the required qualities of the knight in shining armour. Good enough!

Rule 1 in my textbook: I am too nice to break a girl’s heart.

That doesn’t mean I am going to say yes to you girls for not wanting to break your hearts, but there is something called lesser evil, better give lil hurt now than a bigger one later on. If I can’t give back as much as you can, why risk our friendship. I am ready to give in everything you would want out of that relationship, a shoulder and lot more, except that formal tag. So, a guy who loves befriending girls, flirts with them, hears a couple of ILUs, but doesn’t go out. Hmmm… Don’t they call those types a Casanova? But unlike that categorization, I have a heart. I know how difficult it is to stand up and tell someone you like them, I applaud that courage, and it means a lot to me, but cut out the formal tag, it causes more heartburn than vice versa.

My bonding with girls? This goes a long way back to the prep (aka upper kindergarten). Having struggled with Sharjah govt’s rigid educational policies which indirectly led to May borns like me ending up one year late in CBSE schools, ended up in a O’ level school. Life seemed okay, though guys wouldn’t talk to me but call me names. They had this hierarchical order where the leader was the boss and I had been given his sitting place in class and so the enmity began. Sounds childish but then we were kids back then. I am then shifted to 1^st grade skipping prep, to be with people my age. Doesn’t work out, Arabic being my woe because this was midway through the year and people had moved on to words while I didn’t even know the alphabets, lands me back to prep. Boycotted by the boys, the only people who talked to me apart from my senior friends were the girls in class. Must be sympathy vote but it counted. Heard that “no man is an island” years later. That leader dude left next year and the guys suddenly started talking to me, and in a few years time we were the best of friends. Though they still don’t know what got into them for not talking to me except the brainwash their cool leader had given them. That mystery won’t get solved, but I know I had an entire gender to thank for giving company to a lonely newcomer to school. That’s past memory lane.

So hormones kick in and I am straight, but why no girlfriend? I have one answer, I believe in girl friends rather than girlfriends. Or in other words, have to meet someone who can blow me away : ) Till then, I’ll be your best friend and everything else as long as you don’t give it a formal tag. Ain’t no robot but I ain’t into Hallmark plastic love stories.

Rule 2: Let her make the first move.

They speak of equality, I am cool with that, but equality everywhere, from making first move, to keeping buffet tables open to all, because the ladies always finish the salad before the guys can make it. I am a guy who thinks a lot, so unless you make an obvious first moves, I am going to act blank because I have a wild imagination, and can’t let it make assumptions in the real world : ) So I keep them all stuffed up, until the other person makes the first moves, so then I can think about it. Makes life so much more simpler rather than destroying flowers with the “She loves me, loves me not” syndrome.

And yes, I haven’t closed the door on anyone, coz like SRK in DTPH or any of those candyfloss Hindi movies, I know the cupid would come knocking in any shape and size, though it would be great if it was 6 feet, Russian and played tennis or/and a supermodel.

Oh, and arranged marriages isn’t an archaic idea is it? Coz I heard gujju girls rock J though my tryst with bharatmatrimony started off too early. Some Vivek Shah out there decided to fill in my yahoo id and voila, a couple of girls are already interested in nuptials!!! I still want to see their faces when I replied back I was in 10^th grade!!

The cupid strikes his arrows like a machine gun

Waiting for me to take the bait and watch the fun.

Heartless notch earning Casanova I aint,

Nor am I a mala japofying Godly saint.

The right one will come knocking at my doors

Wouldn’t mind if she was from the Corrs

Wanna timepass with me,

Will do so with glee

But tell me beforehand

Or watch our friendship buried in sand

Want a shoulder to support you

With great camaderie, that I shall do

And yeah, live with the fact

That I follow a frank & diplomatic tact

So take it on the face value what I say

Though sarcasm is also my usual way

So the thumb rule to follow around me

I wouldn’t even hurt my enemy,

Don’t give me not so obvious signs

They are worse than hidden landmines.

But it aint all cotton candy in there

Devil too has his share J

So good and naughty like yin and yang

Let our relationship rock on with a BIG BANG!

Enter Sandman

A speeding car screeches to a halt. The dust settles and the door opens. Focus on a long pair of legs wearing patent shoes. The music tempo picks up. That Is a movie style entry. But then this is just a blog, so cutting the melodrama, B@Dshah is here. After loads of requests and queries, I finally decided to jump onto the bandwagon of people who believe their thoughts should be heard by the outside world. I don’t know if I care for the outside world reads what I read, writing is a brilliant alternative for me for the lack of a best friend. Its like seeing myself from a 2^nd person view and hence find flaws I wouldn’t see as a first person.

Half of you who know me are reading this and having read the title would love to pull my leg to get back at me, because the queue to kill me is too long for you to bear, but let me take your joke away from you. Yes, I know sandman reminds you of that mythical dude who supposedly puts you to bed, so be it, who asked you to read this in the first place? Anyways, my blog titles are gonna be song lyrics atleast at my present fancy.

What to expect in The Shah’s blog ? A frank and diplomatic approach that pretty much characterises me, a trade off between both keeping controversy to the minimal unless ofcourse its harmless. Then again, I seriously wouldn’t plan this out, its best left abstract, that defines me better. The urge to be unique and the pulse of creativity that beats in me, change is the only thing constant. Though, there are numerous questions people ask about Vivek Shah, they might get answered here to my best knowledge. Because I myself am still learning about him, his unpredictability gets to me. Maybe that’s why he remains an interesting character for me.

Why am I finally warped into writing a blog? A long break between exams and the ECD paper, beautiful weather with rainstorms that ruined net lab equipment, and a calm and empty hostel. This seemed idealistic enough for me to start, or in other words, nothing better to do.

Expect a bit of everything, coz spice is the essence of life and a part and parcel of any Indian. Guess the fact that am a Gujarati, born in Kolkata, and brought up in Sharjah and Bahrain, studying in Trichy and home in Bangalore, gives me this opportunity of seeing things in varied shades allowing a spicier version of life. The Global Indian as friends would like to call me having visited atleast 0.05% of the 200 odd UN states.

I’ll cut down on the GRE words too, on public request but seriously, I rarely use them, but guess that rarity also acts as a turn off but can’t help it at times when I get absorbed into unconsciously typing away whatever my brain vomits out. As for those who been expecting my rhyming blogs from the days of spider (our LAN chaat zone) which reeks of unbearable chaat now, well expect an essence of it here too.

B@Dshah

03 May 2006